Heavy Weight

This is a print by Suzanne L Vinson AKA Silvertree Art, that hangs in the baby's room under the sign that says "be brave and kind". I got it a while ago because I've always loved it and well, it's true. Over the last few days it really seems to be ringing true - probably leaning a little more to the terrible part at the moment. I woke up this morning feeling the weight of how this is a pretty heavy time to be bringing another person into the world (whenever they decide to join us!) - there's a lot of work to be done! As a white woman and a white mom of white kids I realized a while ago that I have a responsibility to be working on myself and with my kids (even when they're as young as they are) to understand more about the world that they're living in than I knew/know. We talk about all different kinds of people, and racism, what it is and how it's not just a long time ago but alive and well and how it plays a part in pretty much everything they see around them in our country. Side note: We've also talked a lot about Native Americans and how yes, they're still alive! (among other things) (This was shocking news to Nora and something that clearly hasn't been emphasized at her school full of "chiefs" - argh)
Blogs and social media sources have helped me expand the kids' and my own book collection - which I LOVE. I've been working on listening to Black voices, unlearning and relearning history so that I can make sure the kids are learning through more than the white lens of the world that is often presented at school. And I've recently started making a list of places to go and things to do (once we can go places again) to really learn and see history - all the sides. (There's a lot around us that I've been waiting to check out with them because I want them to be able to focus enough to learn something that sticks, but I realize we can always revisit as they grow and they'll learn new things each time)
I don't say any of this to be preachy, high and mighty or make myself out to be "one of the good ones", because I need to work harder, learn and do a lot better and a lot more. I'm very much just getting started. It is time though, to encourage others around me to do their part.
Me and White Supremacy by Layla F Saad was originally an online course that I worked through and it's now a published book that I'm revisiting again. Rachel Cargle is a woman who speaks clearly and very matter of factly to, and who has a wealth of knowledge and information on, how white individuals and groups can do the required work to become anti-racist and allies to Black Americans (most specifically women). And, the people behind the Instagram accounts like @thegreatunlearn @hereweeread, @leesareneehall, @readlikearockstar @thecounsciouskid and @wellreadblackgirl have all put in a ton of energy & work to share countless great suggestions and resources to learn and unlearn from. There's always the library too! Anyway...There's a lot of work and sacrifice that has been done by countless Black individuals over the course of history but frankly if anything is actually going to change the work really needs to be done by us - white people - and it's my hope that by starting early with my kiddos it'll leave them and ALL of their peers with less to figure out and a lot more peace and promise going forward. They have so much to clean up as they grow-up it's exhausting to think about...the least I can do is try to arm them with as much honest and well rounded information as I can so they can go in eyes wide open to how things once were, how they got to where they are now and why it cannot stay this way - then maybe they can enjoy more of the beautiful.

So, there's my rare serious post that pops up every now and again it's been too long of a time coming honestly...thanks for sticking around to read it. I hope everyone stays safe this weekend.

Doh, Donuts

Sometimes you need to break things up a bit. This morning it was a donut surprise. Mind you, it didn't get to stay a surprise because in order to even get the kids to cooperate enough to get dressed and in the car I had to implore them not to lose their surprise and when that didn't work I had to blow the cover all together to really drive home the point. Anyway, we had donuts this morning - they were delicious and then the rest of the day was spent whining about wanting more donuts or who had gotten more donuts and seriously...with everything that is now boiling over in the country, outside of our house filled with kids who are still learning but (understandably) not necessarily grasping what kind of privileges they "magically" have at the long time expense of others...I wasn't in the mood for any of it. But, we made it through this very rough day and now it's time to rest and repeat tomorrow - hopefully a little bit refreshed.

Back & Forth Battles

At least the baby's room is being used by someone! The boys have started enjoying going into the little nursery to read all the baby's books. That's what they wanted to do while we were hanging out this evening. It was a long day with lots of fighting and whining today - there are a lot of feelings in our house lately. Nora is over being "alone" but loses her temper at her brothers almost immediately and seems to be EVERYWHERE I go at all times looking to be provided with "fun things" to do...fun typically = messy and messy usually ends up in a fit over not wanting to clean up after. Vicious cycle! And the boys randomly alternate between episodes of super nice playing together and all out battles - that typically results in someone with a new bump or bruise from a very random often times large projectile being thrown and a trip to timeout. Who says we don't have a schedule right now? My observations overall have shown that combos of 2 typically work pretty well but as soon as the third playmate comes along things usually devolve pretty quickly. We'll see how all this plays out once the baby is here and as we work our way through the summer - wherever that may be. For now, having a group of kids who know I can't chase them well is proving to be quite the challenge.

School's Out for Summer

Yesterday morning I had a dr's appointment, baby is still high and no new family member yet, so we wait. My doctor is going out of town this weekend so it either needs to come in the next couple days or hold on until Tuesday. Surely this child will listen right?
Meanwhile...today was the last day of school! From the start Nora declared it pajama day (because in her history of school, the last day has always been pajama day) so, we went with it. Lincoln had his last Zoom group time and Nora and her class (and Otto) finished the second half of watching Willy Wonka "together". She also looked through her yearbook. Now that summer vacation is underway we're going to take a little time off then try to fall into a bit more of a schedule again. It worked well last summer to mix in some learning time, play time, etc so we'll hopefully fall back into it a bit in the coming weeks. For now we're just kind of in a holding pattern waiting for this baby to come and trying to keep the house relatively put together at the same time. Kyle is back in the office full time this week so that in and of itself is going to be an adjustment.

Keeping Busy

Another low key long weekend day around here. I even snuck in a nap!! The kids played pretty nicely all day today, Nora is really starting to struggle without friends her own age. She's getting sick of playing on her own. Anyway, all that playing of course resulted in a house that had toys and other stuff EVERYWHERE. After some battling we were able to coerce some cleaning cooperation after dinner with the promise of some dessert. Mission accomplished, a scoop of ice cream and half a chocolate chip cookie for all. Of course bedtime then snuck a little late due to the late sugar infusion but at least we head into the real week with a somewhat assembled house.

Here Fishy Fishy!

Almost the same! Tim, Mr. Ron & my dad went fishing today and Otto isn't one to be left out, so he wanted to play the fishing game with Kyle. Somehow I don't think the alternate activity was as satisfying as the real deal would have been for Kyle. It's been really hot the last couple days and tomorrow is supposed to be really rainy so our across the street neighbors who are out of town for the weekend invited us to use their pool while they're gone. This afternoon, in hopes of tiring out the kids we headed over there. Nora was quick to hop aboard the floaties and the boys were quick to demonstrate that they have lost most of their swimming skills. This is usually the time of year when they're in the pool as much as possible heading into summer but it hasn't been the case this year. Luckily they got a chance to knock the rust off and Otto had a very potent refresher on the importance of using listening ears - especially around the pool if he wants the privilege of swimming! Anyway, after about an hour of swimming we were very appreciative of the energy drain and the break in the monotony!
This evening after a little hangout with the 6-year weds in Toledo we tag teamed a kitchen/family room clean up and I tested out another chocolate chip cookie recipe - except I shorted the flour by accident. They weren't bad, I think they'd be better had I correctly followed the recipe but we still don't like them as much as the other recipe that seems to have become my go to.

Santa Saturday

Soooo while Kyle was out for his run I was joined in bed this morning by two very enthusiastic boys and their team of "reindeer". Lincoln even contributed a tambourine to substitute for sleigh bells - it has to be realistic! Anyway, the boys were busy delivering gifts all over the world with Rudolph in the lead. Quite the way to start the day. We didn't do a whole lot today, sticking relatively close to home still. Kyle took the kids out and about for a bit to look at boats at a boat dealership (we're not buying one but a guy can dream) and tonight we chatted with some friends on Zoom. I was happy to have a little break and it was a good way to end the day.